Dark Lyrics


1. You're Right, We Need More Songs About Cutting A Bitch

Whoa, hey, calm the fuck down, men can be bitches too
But feel free to get pissed and own it anyway
Like Mackaye, guilty of being white
I'm Michael, guilty of being male
But I'm not sorry for something I didn't do
Am I the oppressor?
Am I Rape Culture?
Or am I just whatever the fad calls for?
I'm not your enemy
That guy is either dead or your grandpa
I'm just a dude raised by just a mother
So fuck you! If you think I have anything against your gender

2. Nobody Minds (The Ten Minute Time-Limit On The Psychward Community Telephone)

"Who I am is enough!" Is carved across the wall in my room
I refuse to go to group therapy
It's either pace the length of the unit or bull-shit with some of the staff
Psychoanalysis, psychodynamic, behavioral, cognitive, humanistic, integrative or holistic
The coolest staff were once patience themselves
Dude, my psychiatrist is way hotter than yours
That girl never stops rocking back and forth
It doesn't matter that I discharge at four
It'll just be the same as before

3. Amputees & Devotees

Before our last talk, I booby-trapped my heart
I tried not to laugh as you ripped it out
You walked away with it cupped in your hands
I pictured you grinning as I pressed the detonator
Now that you want me back
You're all apologetic in your new prosthetics
I think your stumps are sexy
But my love for you is just another one of your phantom limbs

4. Sexual Harassment Rob

She wants to make detective one day
She wants to travel the world breaking up sex slave rings
But the only way for her to get into the field is to take this shit job that you excel at - a corrections officer at the Lincoln Penn
8 years on the job respected by many but known by none
"Women know their place" you say as you make a pass and smack her ass
Just another victim of your harassment
Just another that rather quit than be ridiculed for reporting you
How many have you abused?
Will it ever end?
One day a group of inmates corners you and lets you know you're cute
One of them even grabs your crotch
It angers you but reporting them could hurt your rep
Armed with pepper spray and baton you take matters into your own hands
You're easily overpowered
Shock makes time slow down
It's so tight up your virgin ass that you're relieved semen provides lube
Dick after excruciating dick your colon tears
Warm, wet, bloody stool flows down your legs
As consciousness wanes you'd wish you just filed for harassment instead

5. Sorry, I'm Just Not Gay For Whips Or Vin Diesel

Tearing out of the night, I'm racing down Main through your ghost town
Closet skeletons and other whores haunt the street
The traffic lights flash as yellow as their complexion
And I run through each one sans caution
And I run through each one sans caution
Drifting through town's square, I see you crucified
The eyes your demons have taken reminds me of when I saw this dystopia in them
Buildings burst into flame I floor the accelerator
Buildings burst into flame I floor the accelerator
The city ablaze in my rearview
Maybe now I won't dream about you

6. Gash Stabber / Gash Stabber 2 (The Beginning) / D

[Gash Stabber]

She was saving herself for marriage
But she just wanted to be loved for a night
With a knife I stabbed a vagina into her torso
"I carved a smiley face into her and made it suck me off"
"I said I carved a smiley face into her and made it suck me off"
"What, who is this?
No amount of pity will bring her back
She hands me the scalpel and whispers "life goes on"
She lays down on the embalming table and says, "just relax and cut"

[Gash Stabber 2 (The Beginning)]

After dad left Jesus was the only man mom wanted in her life
She'd curl my hair, paint my nails and put make-up on me
She'd even make me wear lacy petticoats under my dresses
"It started when I cut holes in a stray cat. Then it was the torso of the neighbors dog"
"Sir, I don't find this funny. And if you call me again, I will be notifying the authorities"
She holds me close and asks, "Is there anything else?"
I unsheathe the knife and say, "Yes, there is"
I didn't lose my virginity till I fucked the holes I cut into mommy


What we can't practice? Well Roan Toan and I just drove a total of three and half hours to be here today so maybe we can find a compromise all we ask is for an hour it'll be just enough time to tighten up some new shit as well as run through the set a few times BUT NO! Your refusal to hear me out was your way of saying to go fuck myself and that's how you got this song written about you GO CHOKE ON ONE!

7. A Moment Is The Most You Can Expect From Perfection

I either spend the present yearning for satisfaction to arrive or nostalgic over events even if they weren't that great of time
Drugs, dreams and a thousand forms of delusion grant serenity in the second and if you attach to me, it's cool, cause I'm already attached to you
We commit to each other and yearn for one another with never a moment together
Ignorant, crave and suffer

8. Mushmouth

t's like the harder I try to speak the more my tongue trips over itself
Docs say my speech impediment is social anxiety
I rarely talk at school because my classmates laugh at me
Some like Big Johnny call me "Mushmouth" before they sock me
I never stutter when I'm talking to my friends
My speech only cd skips with everyone else
If they'd give me a chance my anxiety'd go away and they'd find out what a great friend I could be
Today, my friends'll get to meet the kids from school
I'm going to try talking to my classmates by making them imaginary too
I point the gun at Big Johnny
He uses Sally as a human shield
They are the first I greet with a perfectly pronounced "Hello"

9. Uppsala

Guided by the light of the full moon
Three burial mounds come into view
The holy temple where the heathens meet
Lies just beyond where the deities sleep
Every nine years over nine days lavish the gods with offering & praise
Every nine years over nine days seventy-two male creatures bled & hanged
The vernal equinox at Old Uppsala
Christians are welcome but refuse to come
They shun the disciples
They shun their idols
They shun the dogs, horses & human corpses hung in the sacred grove
But what distresses them most is through ritual all those Pagan can be forgiven while all those Christian will be forsaken
Every nine years over nine days lavish the gods with offering & praise
Every nine years over nine days seventy-two male creatures bled & hanged
Chants unseemly
Incantations manifold
Only the profane believe they should remain untold

Thanks to jacob.freude for sending these lyrics.

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