THE LOCUST LYRICS

1. Recyclable Body Fluids In Human Form

Such and such a hero
has done so and so
Dick mythology (dickology),
don't miss out

Just an ambidextrous hunch
spawning an armless puppet child
skeptically in cahoots with
objectionable arch archetypes
Gullibility's acknowledgment confirms
by means of a broish' head nod,
Bamboozled nullifying vaccine
appreciation

Yet tip of the tongue cognition
yields to voiceless epiphanies
Pee floodgates just waiting for a pissy day.

2. Identity Exchange Program Rectum Return Policy

Wrecked 'em? I don't even know him
Liaison for the nervous
your consensual embryo is revoked
Leave your body out of this

Passive aggressive bolts filled with anxiety
loosen amidst this cyanide vacuum
Its time for the eyeball crotch to have a looksee

Welcome to "that's enough of that"
located near "are you not my privates"?

A limbo bonanza if "this" then we weren't me
A styrofoam cup full of responsibility.

3. Solar Panel Asses

Give back those dirty plungers
the trumpet players can't bleed without them.

The spinster mechanic is late to work
no eat, no sleep, ect.
Well what did you expect?
Purple headed warriors on the front lines?

Social sardines for a better tomorrow
Guilt absorption in a two ass radius
Bragging about your salad tossing
leaving you full of amino acids

4. Live From The Russian Compound

Cowboy lawman-found a cell
Tore into it-as night fell

Bankers kids are
getting bingo'd
Smells like midnight's
cooked up a storm in here
Leave those loose lips
at home or at the
rubble that's left
when you return

Have an armed guard posted at your flag
Stroll through town with
a gun stuffed in your pants

Bankers kids are
getting bingo'd
Smells like midnight's
cooked up a storm in here
Leave those loose lips
at home or at the
rubble that's left
when you return

Criminal lawman-found a cell
Tore into it-made life hell

Bombs bursting-houses burning
Diplomacy's tyrant treats

5. Earwax Halo Manufactured For The Champion In All Of Us

what if i don't get a chance to go soon?
what then?

win win win win win win stipulation
what then?

Brains can't believe eyes,
i just want the thing

6. Wet Dream War Machine

Stop talking politics
Rephrase, Rephrase
Hibernating phantom friend
Witness, Witness

There's a hotbed of isms around here

All hail the chopper,
the blitzkrieg,
the tank,
Never mind the ethics involved

Stop talking politics
Calculate, Eliminate
Witness, This mess

Who's got their nightmare glasses?
It's time to go diving
Prime time is
crime time is
nuclear might

All hail the chopper
the blitzkrieg
the tank
Never mind the ethics involved

7. Listen, The Mighty Ear Is Here

Violent Huckster
You're out of luck, sir
Wire-tapped and
Booby-trapped

Wet nurse asks,
"What's your amusement?"
Wet dreams answer
"Deadly powders,
Napalm showers and
Glowing cans."

Is it curfew yet?
No, not yet
Like that violent stuff?
Well it's covered up
Us-invaders check
Legal debt

8. Who Wants A Dose Of The Clap?

No man of cloth
-gonna go through my wallet
No mercenary
-gonna make CIA

...mash
...food-on the few remaining molars
...hear
...flies-steaks are cooking, come inside

Sinking in the
same sack of
salivating quicksand
Drown or row? Drown, Drone

9. Teenage Mustache

Want to stay young?
Well abort now.
Otherwise you're going to make
a great dead cop.
Bet you think you are going to change color
standing there on all four feet
getting licked like a lollipop.

10. How To Become A Virgin

They, the people
Done like your dinner

Taping fur to your back
does not make you a werewolf

Just like dying dads,
or already dead dads

Chance must be systematically explored
when dressed up like Christmas beef

11. Anything Jesus Does I Can Do Better

Everyday I add to the list of people
who can kiss my ass
and imagine Mr. W
sucking the fuck out of it.

What is your astrological sign?
Stop. Stop!

Funny, hahaha.

Would the owner of an ounce of dignity
please contact the mall security?

Not funny, no, no.
Not funny, nope.

12. Late For A Double Date With A Oile Of Atoms In The Water Closet

Arbiter of shittily planned dilemmas
you were born with only three faces

shit down to the sub-atomic level
to the last quark

Martyrs mocking, lepers vomiting
while everyone and their mother
team up with toilet water
Don't forget to tell your face
swish swish gargle gargle

This here bowl is half full of shit
and this here shit shall set you free.

13. File Under 'Soft Core Seizures'

Chancrous syphilologist
I'm not sure if you understand our kicks

this specialized sweep is a soggy donation

Rotten milk and a
history of
spoiled eggs.
Breakfast. Now let's go
morally bankrupt

Puppet predator
Mannequin breadwinner
Planting seeds
on bed sheets

14. Practiced Hatred

[Originally by Crossed Out]

His hate and pain
Drowned in their blood
Collecting slaves
For his afterlife

15. Psst! Is That A Halfie In Your Pants?

Can you spare any (social) change
after fucking every social donut hole?

The U.S. toilet is overflowing
(and sure needs an overthrowing)
With Mr. Media's diarrhea.

This dirty dickin' disaster.
All of the dirty dickin' during a diarrhea dilemma
This dirty dickin' dilemma.

16. Half-Eaten Sausage Would You Like To See You In His Office, The

Dear Mr. So and So
Wait until it's over
Nothing is King now
and Nothing's getting older

That jerk lives like
a missle with
his pecker (in) one hand and
his pooper (in the) other

What about the paperwork
-bowels working overtime
Feed the faxes apple dumplings
-pay that fucker overtime

hey there bossman
-fickle fucker
hey there bossman
-fickle fucker buy me dinner

17. Pulling The Christmas Pig By The Wrong Pair Of Ear

[Q:] If the aunt had balls she would be?
[A:] Uh, the uncle.

[Q:] And in more trouble than?
[A:] A pregnant nun.

So get a hole to hide in
or somehide to cover the hole

Pig's Christmas parcel arrived
basically full of crap
and others lil' treats.

Awe, that little pig.

18. Can We Get Another Nail In The Coffin Of Culture Theft?

Genius or most genius?
Uh, well, actually...neither.

Cancel Christmas, those carbon units are
all over the "them" just like a cheap suit.

The cheapest fucking suit.
Squish! Squash! Is something lost?
Pish! Posh! Is someone lost?

19. Your Mantel Disguised As A Psychic Sasquatch

The chicken bit it (The foreskin knew it)
The sultry salesman worked
to keep his high heels on.

Oh, the doors are talking
Oh, the sheets are stained
A fleshy bowl of nonsense says,
"Apparently a slut's been made!"
Why must the fortune teller
always do the dirty work?

It bit the chicken (The skin foresaw it)
And sultry heels worked
to keep the salesman high.
Can I touch your telepathic private parts?

20. Twenty-Three Lubed Up Schizophrenics With Delusions Of Grandeur

Seemed like the right thing to do at the time
but Dr. quackenfish is in the driver's seat now.

Aesthetically pleased to the point of ambivalence.
Canadian bacon-y self-fulfilling prophecy
take the time to drown in your own spit

Yes. We are talking about you.

21. Captain Gaydar It's Time To Wind Your Clock Again

What came first the chicken or the moron?
I'd say the moron potty trained or not.

I wipe your ass you scratch my back

Go ahead and continue to
think about your genitalia
but before you speak, before you think,
Hemorrhoid is a two lane highway

americana memorabilia
-homophobic hillbilly hieroglyphics
ready the probe and ready the stove
at the Branding center my cheesbro'

Plus or minus three percent points
(variance of ignorant humans)
but I'd have to say that there are
many more in retro sewage

I wipe your ass you scratch my back

22. Priest With The Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Get Out Of My Bed

Santa Claus hijack, fuck-a-rama
always getting a good look
at the meat rack
Before shooting blanks into a loaded crowd

Hypothetical hunger is not directly proportional to hypothetical appetite

23. Pickup Truck Full Of Forty Minutes

'White Nights' (Red Lights)
Silent sirens
Calm and brutal
Kingdom comes

Praying dagger (drunk and haggard)
Found a sin and pulled the pin

That old fuck has run amok
his number is up...







THE LOCUST LYRICS