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1. Insults

You fucking dog
Dirty weasel
Low-life snake
Filthy pig
Fucking dog cunt
Fucking pig scum

What a fucking goose
Absolute turkey
Such a bird brain
A fucking galah

A piece of shit
A pile of spew
A nash stain
A pungent stench

A parasite
A germ
A virus
An Abbott

2. Instant Fighter

Spent the last three months
At the gym getting huge
You're on the program
Drawer full of singlets
Protein shakes & roids
Huge steaks & ice pipes
Cans of diet red bull
Buffed up & ready

Hit the clubs
Juiced up
Popping outta your polo shirt
Shiny as fuck
Bitches love spraytans
And dudes who bash cunts
You can't wait to get in a punch-on
With the first person to look at you funny

3. Heavy Metal Professional

You're the promoter
Take your cut
You deserve it for doing so much

They've got the mad skills
To write emails and make phone calls
Make posters with heaps of photoshop
Set up the metal event of the year

Heavy metal professional

Apply the lessons of the guru, Molly
Do yourself a favour and fall off a ladder
That was the sickest gig
Hardy anyone has ever seen
You deserve to take your cut

4. Lunch In Qld

Stunned silence on the footy field
Gasping parents drop their tinnies
Silence turns to panicked screams
As little Jimmy gets torn to shreds

Strange things happen in Queensland

Runaway croc knows where to find lunch
The fat little turd never stood a chance
Pasty skin covered in holes
Shredded child sprinkled over the grass

5. Holiday's Over

Buried in the world's biggest cemetery
Holiday's over

Thousands of cock-shaped sand castles
Shallow graves in the scorched dust
A million ways to die in the desert
The travel brochure never mentioned
You might get chopped up & buried

Endless horizons decomposing

Without a trace
Entire families vanish
Backpackers long forgotten
Holiday's over

6. Let's Get Mad

Herald Sun topic of the day
Let's get mad
Read the first two paragraphs
Get fired up
Press the like button to feign disgust
Join the fight
Talkback callers so outraged
Start a war

Scoffing at the injustice
Looking like you give a fuck
Frothing up an office storm
Gotta get on board for the cause
Regurgitate the latest soundbites

Get mad
While you're waiting for your latte
In the lift headed up to your cubicle
For an hour or two, whatever suits
Tomorrow when it all starts again

7. Into The Drink

I'm taking you all with me
I'm going down
We're going down
Head first
Into the drink
You can forget your oxygen
Cabin pressure
They're irrelevant now
But keep your seatbelt on
Swimming with the fishes
Fill your lungs with salt
Below sea level

8. The Divine World

Deranged smile
God's word
The mission is clear
Stab the husband first
Then drive into a church
What an excellent idea

If God says drive your car into a church
You better bloody well do it
The divine word is to smash shit

Busted crucifixes
Flying across the room
With her limp body

9. Public Execution

Make me the boss you snobby cunts
I've got a great idea for Doyle & friends
Get a fucking big guillotine
And put fed square to proper use

Set the stage and line 'em up
Chuck it on the big screen
Everyone get on ya picnic blanket
Crack out the wine & cheese
And watch the gore show

Heads rolling like the cheese wheels
Blood flowing like the cheap champagne
As sweating Doyle watches on
Cause he's next in line

10. Not The Voice

He's at it again
The mullet's back
On a plastic head
Definitely not the voice

Farnham says that he's retired for good
But he always comes back
He's got bills to pay
Gold earrings don't come cheap
He'll stretch it out a few more weeks

Bert Newton
Darryl Somers
Darryl Braithwaite
Time's up
Fuck off

Coming to a corporate function near you

You're burnt out

11. Evil Dead

The evil woman of my dreams
Cheryl possessed by demon trees
The trees didn't treat her right
She'll kill Ash and she'll be mine
The evil dead queen

Screeching across the room
Slams the pencil in the ankle
Busts outta the cellar
Clawing at faces
Like a freak full of cactus
It really gets my motor running
The evil woman of my dreams

Why have you disturbed our sleep
Awakened us from our ancient slumber
You will die

12. Spittin' Chips

Blind rage overload
Red face about to explode
Foaming at the mouth
Pop a forehead vein
Eyelid twitch
World goes red
Crack the shits

Spittin' chips
Crack the shits

Unleash the nostril-flaring fury
Have a sook in overdrive

13. The Pulsating Feast...

[originally by Regurgitate]

Gouged labia ripped
Lacerated cunt lips
Your vagina is avulsed
As your cervical canal is divulged

Split to the anus... open wide
Probing scalpels... thrust inside

Menstruating mess, bleeding and thrashed
Urethral meat bleeds, the pulsating feast

14. Full Body Bang

When you feel the power
Of the grind inside you
Sometimes the head
Just ain't enough
Regular headbanging
Won't cut the mustard
You need a full body bang

Bend in half for the blastbeats
Gravity manipulation
Headbutt the foldback
Full body bang

Swarm of grind nerds
In a shitty pub

15. Metal Thrashing Mad

Racing down the road
In a streetmachine of steel
Gears are jammed in full
I'm a madman at the wheel
Got my foot pinned to the floor
You can feel the engine roar

Driving like a maniac
Can't go any faster
Burning up the road
Heading for disaster

Metal thrashing mad

16. Burn Craigieburn. Burn

Sun sets over the wild west
Moans and scratching in the dark
Fiends roam the carparks
Lighters flickering

Swarming like a plague
Trackies everywhere
Swarming like a plague
Saying bro heaps
Glassheads on the loose
Gonna tear this joint apart

They've all got lighters
Setting everything on fire
Burn Craigieburn
Like a Norwegian church
Burn it down

17. Smooth And Shiny

He's got the moustache
He's got the haircut
He's got the tattoos
He's got the fashion
He's got the look

Dispensed the fat cash
Now you're a real cool guy
They'll be real impressed
But aren't your ankles cold?

Lookin' good
The ladies love it
Oh so smooth
Like the rest

All the latest shiny bullshit
Brand new boring, get it now
Squeaky plastic experience

18. Pit Victim

Trashed bloke rockin' out
Getting wild up the front
Fresh pint in his hand
Swigs as the mosh part starts
Crowd goes ballistic
Random limbs flailing
Elbow to the back of the head
Glass moshed into his face
Sharp shards slicing
Thin clean cuts
Bulging lacerations

Glass through your lips
Glass through your nose
Glass through your eyes
Glass through your cheek
Glass through your tongue
Glass through your ears
Glass through your face
Glass through your brain

19. All Dead By Sunset

Come over
I'm having a barbie
Get a gut-full

Bring your friends
Bring your kids
Bring your neighbour

Cyanide snacks
Poison beers
Dead by sunset
Neurotoxic salad dressing

Jay — Drums
Rob — Guitars
Nik — Vocals

Thanks to rohoisawesome for correcting track #2 lyrics.

Submits, comments, corrections are welcomed at webmaster@darklyrics.com


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