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1. So Easy

When you breathe in memories and your thoughts are light-years away
When the past takes root in your head
Yet your glance shows agony - on the edge of losing yourself
You should not suppress it again

Drifting through a colder time - petrified in vain
In frigidity it is so easy
Freezing up your warmer side - paralyze the pain
It is so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy

Civilized your thoughts and finally forgot how bitterly you cried
And now it agitates, it thaws cos I can see it in your eyes
Try to forsake your tears but in the end it suffocates your lies

When you count those endless days in a restless silence alone
Will you ever know whom to blame?

Wiping off your former life - slipping down again
Drowning all this pain cos it's so easy
Acting simply synthesized - numb but so insane
It is so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy ...

Where to find your promises? Broken and light ...
Will you ever cope with it? Maybe sometime ...
How you could become like this? Faceless and blind ...

Slipping down again ...
Suck out your life inside never find indeed
That you need to be what you once symbolized

... it's so easy if you try ...

2. So Much More

Try in vain to convince me, but I never felt as lonely as I do
Now I finally see that all the things I loved are so empty without you

When I dream you caress me, why it touches me like it never did before?
Though I pictured it painful - now there's no return and it hurts me so much more ...

More ... and it hurts me so much more ...

When the darkness surrounds me in an endless stream of memories all
alone Even harder to wake up and to find that all I lived for now has gone

Used to bring you just sorrows now I get them back and I can not fight
at all In those moments of weakness have to think of you and it hurts me so much

... it hurts me so much ...

Still miss you, still feel you, still leave you and then have to part
from you again ... Still see you, still weep for you still hear your whisper in my ear again ...

I could not even tell you how I need you so I'll keep it in my heart ...

3. Lost

Patient silence filled the air that day
So ominous but known
And as usual all those lovers just made their farewells
But then they never came back home

Lost salvation - never again
Tearing you apart
Lost salvation - you'll never forget
This scar inside your heart

Raging seas of flames around
And now that nothing stayed the same
Would you please tell me now why on earth could future shatter?
For you who're still waiting in vain

Still to hope they will come back

4. You Are

Some light eventually invades in silence someone's dreams
Somewhere an apathy gets hold of someone's life
Somehow a melody has bitterly forced someone's tears
Sometimes it's hard to realize this someone's me

You are ...

Some days I think of all this brightness and some days I cry
Somehow I wonder why and don't know what to do
Sometimes there's something which so easily fills someone’s eyes
And then I know somewhere someone waits for me too

You are ...

You are simply irreplaceable
You are my long awaited miracle
You are so near but still untraceable
You are...

And in this dream - I’ll never lose it
You kiss my cheeks and then you soothe me
You take my hand and then I come down
And simply know I’m waiting all alone

5. Fearless

Calm down and take my time
I got to keep cool and then unwind
I got to stay sane and take a breath
I got to slow down and just relax

I try to persuade myself for real
I try to keep control of all my fears
I try to switch off and eventually turn aside
And I try but I know it's a waste of my time

Run away … run away

Need it - Do I - Try it - Will I - here
Want it - Can I - Got it …

Rejoice like others do
I want to let go and be just like you
I want to hang around while I think of nothing else
I want to be sun and not the rain

I cannot just stop this masquerade
I cannot accept that it's too late
I cannot lose my anxiety
But I try to find a place where I used to be me

I try to break out but I cannot succeed
I have to be strong but again I’m too weak
My senses are frail - so defenseless within
But though I'm afraid I will never give in

Coalitions of viciousness fade away and take up
All my weird sensations - wish I could just wake up
From my known improvised life to make up
My mind inside - will I just capitulate and give up?

Insufficiently wise and I don't know when I'll grow up
Myself compromised and the cracks now show up
In my own crystallized side to blow up
To vaporize but I'll never give up …

Within our heads so deep inside, within our depths - that's where they
hide And in our heads they're buried deep; and with these shades we
have to live

6. Belated Gift

I cannot get it - colors driving me so mad
Pictures spinning speechless in my head
Incomprehensibly meaningless
Questions in my mind

Without a notice, a sign, a scene - is it all?
Nothing to say that I waited for
Senseless, untold - wasn't there much more?
Questions in my mind

I'll give you wings to cry, to search for me and fly
Just where I went through, that's my gift for you

And now I capture crippled figures with my eyes
Leaving all our good times far behind
Kissing all those precious hopes goodbye
Questions in my mind

I run away...

7. Today

Today - I took it from you
Today - gave it back too late
Today I know I need you/face it without you
Today I threw it all away...

Spoken words from those days far behind echo through my head
Endless loops like a shivering sign show me to regret

I learned from you - lived for you - needed you always
I took from you - weakened you ... You

Feel a wave of your warmth that you gave and I lost it all
Now this emptiness is all that will stay - on a faceless wall

8. Through My Eyes

With my thoughts astray I still hear you say that our fight is over
In credulity you played tricks on me - and it led us nowhere
What on earth you think made you sure again - and in fact so clean and
sober You suggested me - I cannot believe - it's not nearly over

All letdowns wear off in time and fade eventually

Was it ignorance, which hollowed out my strength - meaningless and empty?
Trust without a doubt that's what pulled me down and now it offends me

Treacherously, it seems to me so slippery in my eyes
Finally I can see so differently through my eyes

What enticed my mind - made me numb and blind - left me weak and broken?
I will not fulfill what you expect from me - this game is not nearly over

Used me, choked me, but never broke me
Shook me, disgraced me - never break me … now
You leave me now … alone I realize it's different through my eyes …

What enticed my mind made me numb and blind
Left me weak and broken?
I will not fulfill what you expect from me
This game is not nearly over

9. Given-Used-Forgotten

Seek emotional collisions
Live, we live through imprecisions
Need imaginable visions
To be vulnerable and so weak
Meet fragile indecisions
And see they’re making it worth to live...

No more weakness - I tried, restrained and kept it inside
Grew up and now that it’s time I can feel...

Hesitating dreams and empty promises
Kept it up but never knew what for
Lacking all those treasures that I used to miss
And then eventually to suffer more and more

Propagating spaces chasing feelings prophylactically away
Disgorging disinfected vacuums to stay

Holding back my tears it could not ease the pain
Always on the edge to lose it all
Waiting for the reasons but they never came
And while I waited I built up my proper wall

Isn’t it a paradox to hide and to avoid so sterilized
Which in the end you realize exactly is for what you strived
But now I’m giving in to visions that I tried to circumvent
And visualize my new experience for real ... given, used, forgotten...

Apathetically sick and restrictive
Bureaucratically hollow and pale
An abstemious agent of victims
Agonizingly wrong it’ll fail

Meditative deliciously thoughtful
Melancholic poetically free
Just spontaneous sadness though painful
With a pinch of a powerful seed

Feed your soul with life - and you better believe it
Breathe it right inside so you know that you need it
Read your lines and find there’s no way to delete it
Deep within you hide...

Even while I listened could not hear the wind
Wasn’t there a light I did not see?
Always found an end before I could begin
What I saw reflecting wasn’t me

Crucified a moment for eternity
Spoke in words I could not understand
And I tried to find it - tried it desperately
But always saw it slipping through my hand

10. This World Is Not For Me

Living with promises - broken and light
Flowing through confidence - I know - and dampening ties

And this world is not for me, so I have to leave
And this world is not for me - now that I see …

Weakening constantly body and soul
Killing all sympathies - that's me - just when they grow
Pull up myself - desperately - at least I have tried
One day I'll know - eventually - for what I have cried

Hazy shades of happiness are rushing through my head
Vanishing reluctantly and leaving me so sad
Mesmerizing melodies within a bygone dream
Wish I could keep hold of it but I know it's not for me …

Fuzzy and doubtfully, humbled and criticized
Drowning predictably, everything memorized
Bluish rose-colored glass - black with a touch of white
Still hold myself apart - self-pity mixed with pride again …

Million stars above I see - all for you - what's left for me?

Thanks to cyrix12 for sending these lyrics.

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