STRUCTURAL DISORDER LYRICS

1. I 1:18

[Instrumental]

[Spoken:]
"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

2. Rebirth

Free my soul from this sickened mind…

Feel me,
trapped inside me
won’t you see me,
Help me end this story,
it distorts me,
won’t you grasp me,
Falling deeper and deeper
So help me
I am begging
Won’t you free me,
Because deep inside me
There is something,
Like a bird in a rotten cage of flesh

Free me from this sickened mind,
and from these wicked sights
Help me turn the tide,
at least, help me die

Panic takes over me,
I’m falling, nowhere to flee,
I am screaming my voice away,
no-one hears me, why does it have to be so damn cold?

[Spoken:]
”Still I can see all that could have been
We, as a family, but all that’s left is this nightmare of a life”

Free my soul from this sickened mind

Feel me,
trapped inside me
won’t you see me,
no-one’s praying for me,
it distorts me,
won’t you grasp me,
falling deeper and deeper,
so kill me, as a favour,
won’t you do it,
please just do it for me,
I am waiting,
won’t you just put a bullet in my fucking brain

Free me, from this sickened mind
and from these wicked sights,
help me turn the tide,
at least, help me die

3. Peace Of Mind

In the silent morning I wake up to see the one I love the most,
she's lying next to me, breathing still

And I feel that everything I need is you right now (and) forever

It is not a lonely world if we're together
It is not a cruel world, if you are here, there's no fear
And I wish that I could freeze this moment, and preserve this feeling

And so I carry this so deep inside
She was my whole, was my bride
All these things left behind
leave me no peace of mind

Her golden hair is messy on the wrinkled bedding
Suddenly she opens up her eyes and she smiles at me
She stretches out her arms, gives me a kiss and then she says 'good morning'

We make love since there's no rush for work and then we
Walk downstairs, I grab my bags and leave her there, unaware
that this day will stick in mind and soothe my pain inside, forever

But then what happened? Is she still alive?
When did I leave her behind?
Pieces I cannot find
Leave me no peace of mind

4. The Longing And The Chokehold

Sleepwalking shadows 

Adamant decisions beyond my control

A firm grip that tightens 

Around my mind, around my soul 



Artificial veils are woven 

A bitter taste, a putrid stench of fear 

Once again, the grip it tightens

As I see myself fading away 



Save me I am drowning 

In this ocean, no emotions in me 

I feel hollow and uncertain 

I can’t see through the veil spun by needles 


I am begging won’t you free me 

because deep inside me 

there is nothing
where there once stood a mind



Imaginary friends still linger 

Shadows from a pleasant past 

I reach out my hand to touch them 

just inches away from my grasp 



Please just lead me home again 

Please don’t let her fade away 

Lay this weary mind to sleep 

As the demon lingers in the deep 



I can feel how my hands are shaking, caused by my abstinence
 


[Spoken:]
“I don’t recognize my own reflection, I don’t recognize my own actions,
Hell – I don’t even recognize my own dreams anymore!
This… medicated… drugged being… it… it isn’t who I am!”


I can feel how my mind is breaking with every breath I take 



[Spoken:]
“I won’t swallow anymore pills and I won’t let you come near me with those fucking needles again, you hear me?!
I won’t… I want to remember! I want to fucking remember!” 


I can feel how my soul is fading, leaving behind an empty shell 

I can feel how my heart is bleeding, knowing that it will soon be gone

I can sense my memories fading, leaving me in the bitter cold 

I can feel how I am breaking as I let the pills go down 



Please just lead me home again 

Please don’t let her fade away 

Lay this weary mind to sleep 

As the demon lingers in the deep

5. Funeral Bells

I choke, and a sour taste escapes my mouth
I freeze when slowly all the lights fade out
I cry for help but words don’t seem to carry through the gloom
I crawl into the corner of my mattressed room

I lose control
Something takes hold of me
(And I) fight (to break) free
(From the) grip (tightening) a(round) my soul

If I had known there was a monster deep inside of me
I would have known that I belong in isolation cells
I wouldn’t hesitate to end it all and set me free
a simple accident will mark the end of my distress
and all I hear are funeral bells as I am laid to rest

I hide from something lurking just outside my view
I try to block the visions out but they keep breaking through
I scream as shady figures slither down the matressed walls
I crouch and watch it all break as the monster calls

I close my eyes
Wait (to be) anesthetized
(or) soon I will fall (and the)
monster will rise

If I had known there was a monster deep inside of me
I would have known that I belong in isolation cells
I wouldn’t hesitate to end it all and set me free
a simple accident will mark the end of my distress
and all I hear are funeral bells as I am laid to rest

I lose control
it’s taking hold of me

If I had known there was a monster deep inside of me
I would have known that I belong in isolation cells
I wouldn’t hesitate to end it all and set me free
a simple accident will mark the end of my distress
and all I hear are funeral bells as I am laid to rest

6. Sleep On Aripiprazol

[Instrumental]

7. Corpse Candles

I woke up tomorrow and the colors were all dull

I was stuck with gnawing headache, like a drill put through my skull

And it seemed just to get stronger, I had never felt such pain before

On this ocean of confusion, I heard an unknown voice

I was lost in my delusion and I never had a choice

Because this was the sound of reason, this was what I had been chosen for



He poisoned me that moment when he stepped right up from hell

You see, no man has a perfect and impenetrable shell

He got me while I slumbered, he got me while my guard was down
Sensing his perfection, I had never felt so small

He said, "Open you eyes", and I stepped right through the wall

To the far side of the fences, I had never been that far from home



Awake my ghouls

They stain my soul

They preach my doom

They raise my tomb



Corpse Candles, 
Embrace me, keeps me awake

Who will sleep well tonight

Corpse Candles,
Within me, leading astray

As I follow the light



The scenery is changing, and I know what happens then

As I see things through this doorway that was never ment for men

And I sympathise with Dante, although he of course was wrong about hell


And I will call out for mercy, and my guide will show me grace

While he leave me in control again, for now in any case

And I fall right to the floor, the floor of this very god damned cell

Awake my ghouls

They stain my soul

They preach my doom

They raise my tomb



Corpse Candles, 
Embrace me, keeps me awake

Who will sleep well tonight

Corpse Candles,
Within me, leading astray

As I follow the light



Silent morning, never-ending days and dreaded nights

And what use is there for colors if the room is naked white

But I know that it's nothing compared to this inner custody


The sun is but a memory, the moon is never up

And my head is like a highway where the traffic never stops

At least I'm not all lonely, at least he keeps me company

8. Child In The Ocean

Time will slowly get the hold of me
I surrender to tranquility
So close and lock the doors, ignore the raging war
battles roaring within me

All the torn and frightened faces
hiding in the darkest places
Makes me feel sick and so infected
Yet rejected, disconnected
Past is strong, the present kneeling
Haunted by these walls and ceiling
nothing to read but empty pages
face defeat to silent cages

Nothing were between us and the sunset
On this place we could not be found
You saw me in the last light
And whispered that you knew there was life inside

The darkening sea was vast and we were silent
The pulsing blood was warm, unspoiled
We vanished in the long shades
and found a river running through sacred soil

And life would run through us
(through heart and through spine)
this life designed by us
(of wondrous design)
And I believed so much in you and me
(our blood intertwined)

Never come here, stay away from me
You might find this cell an open sea
this far from every shore, the stormy weather roars
better cling to the debris

Darkest ages, darkest hours
burning ice and freezing fires
climbing up but the starway's falling
keep on tossing, spinning, crawling
Turn around without directions
heal the wounds with new infections
Hear the silence, taste the hunger
bad dreams penetrates your slumber

9. Sins Like Scarlet

In the silent morning I wake up to see the
world so red of bloodshed and I'm so alone, she is gone
And I fear that I will spend eternity like this, so frightened

10. The Fallen

Scenes from long gone days pass me by
Hidden like the tears of sorrow blinding my sight
And noone is here to tell me why
It all had to end this way, and why she suffered that night

But the voice was too strong, too resentful,
feeding on the shadows inside
Forever there, taking me over,
aiming to kill all bright in my life

He told me to pull every trigger,
told me not to hesitate
And I was just too weak to question,

turning everything I loved to dust in time
My blood on the floor
I saw it before
But it wasn’t mine that time, no it wasn’t
I still see the knife
How she prayed for her life
And I wouldnt have done it, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the reason inside.

[Spoken:]
”Forever trapped
Forever trapped
Forever trapped, I’m the fallen
I’m the fallen, forever
Not too human, but it hurts
How it hurts to be trapped, forever Noone prays for the fallen, right?”

Scenes from long gone days pass me by
One day maybe I can see it through
Till then I will call out the question why
As the fallen, but I know there is no escape from you

When her very last breath broke the silence,
I couldn’t hear the voice inside
And suddenly I was more lonely
than I had ever been in my life

I yelled her name, god knows I shook her,
kissed her lips and struck her hair
But the tears I cried could never have held them,
the spirits of my wife and my unborn child

Oh, the scenes that pass me by…

11. But A Painting

[Instrumental]

12. Pale Dresses Masses

In this place from distant dreams
Here headstones mark where old friends sleep
Your song raise from the open tomb
Now there's no horror, there's no wounds
Your hair glance in the wind, you smell like sunshine

Give me strength and lead me through the pale dressed masses
let me still embrace you, kiss you and caress you, Let me walk beside you, never be without you, make me whole
Tell me that reality is but a work of art

I feel that I'm coming home
Won't live afraid, won't die alone
My flesh is stardust, souls will soar
When long lost heartbeats float ashore
Your smile will linger on, your song will find me

Give me strength and lead me through the pale dressed masses
let me still embrace you, kiss you and caress you, Let me walk beside you, never be without you, make me whole
Tell me that reality is but a painting
Tell me that our heaven is beyond that bend

13. The Edge Of Sanity

Closed eyes lay open wide

Calm inside, thought is clear and tears will dry

Old wounds are sterilized, I
'm paralyzed by whatever's been applied

And somewhere the moon will rise,
but clouds made of concrete block out the sky

and I never found the time
to count all the stars, nor to memorize

Breath is moving slow
Stable signs, looking fine but feeling cold
They must never know
That I've escaped from the dead fluorescent glow

And still the morning star
may shine from the dark matter pedestal

And venus and mars align,
as I move away, away from imprisoning time

(I move away)
As I move away
Away from this prison of time
(I move away)
As I move away

Away from imprisoning time

In the silent morning I step out from a world where I lived before
Failing every warning, losing all that I earned, every soul I've adored

Burn it all, I sense the skies
I may fall, but then arise

Door stands open, light shines in
Burning walls will melt away
Wash my hands, forgive my sins
Lead me out, I went astray

Open doors
Light shines in
Wash my hands
Forgive my sins

Walls will melt away, burning down, washing out
hear me out, I went astray, lead me out, take me home today


(Free my soul, and forgive my sins)

Free my soul from this sickened mind

Free my soul from this sickened mind







STRUCTURAL DISORDER LYRICS