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1. Gift Of The Giver

Swallow, lose weight, and shake the demons out
I kept the little rules and broke the big ones
An ugly voice singing of the commons with such an intense hunger
The tallest tree with reservations to grow
Try to grit your teeth
We just chew on the bit
Could I hate you enough
To expose you to these walls so cold
Crafted expressly for you
A cage does not suit you at all
Just hang from the crains and dry out nerves tough as the nails
Flaunt them, flaunt them, your golden threads

Empty fields are so fragile for now
Lost before they are discovered
I am the gravel in the underbellies
So long to everything too long

Wait, wait til the stones start clearing their throats
Hesitation has always come so easily
We’ll rip these hands from the clock
Chasing the sun to the shore
Til we can no longer breathe
Breathe in the air exhale to speak
A silence so sinister I’ve become accustomed to
All of the questions that remain unanswered
Just give the attention-span to sit on the floor
Til you respond
I'll stake claims stronger than horses necks, pulling plows
The pot is calling the kettle so taciturn

2. Your Sister's Handwriting

One drop was all it took
Throwing rocks through ice
How is our footing chosen wisely?
Do you hunch over?
You know my shrug
And I can't pass
The past if it keeps coming back but
We were great
We were an awkward handshake with initials etched in your pale
The reactions we detest but the conventions we admire
Just like I was told, more than hampered half the time
Romanticize, hold high hopes and no record of wrongs
This isn't me, this isn't me, this is me
So bitter towards a flower bringer
Life is so beautiful, life is so beautiful
Don’t say I didn’t take this seriously

More fabricated events
To pad your diary
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried...
I got under her to get over you
Never assume that they aren't insensitive everyday
At the drop of a hat, the cost of having is giving to the hilt
But this looks like shame
Do you still believe the words written across your back?

3. All Children Make Mistakes


4. Idiosyncrasies

I am a bird afraid of heights, I am afraid of everything
And for the first time in my life, I can't be alone
Through seasons you learn to weather
Small pewter statues as reminders
Of who we should have been
Cold and stoic we will stand
To face our trials and fail
Oh the pain of constantly wishing to be someone, anyone else
You were lost at sea, but a stones throw away and the shore told me not to remember
I've cut my sails
I am here, you are here, there is a haunting here
What would it take
To forget about this
Don't ask if you can't accept, narrow or broad, just don't ask
I could never accuse you of this fantastic pursuit
Through fields and woods
We must tread softly
My breath, my flesh, my unicorn

Always slipping through my fingers
I'll accept this chase
As the closest this tired body
Will ever get to what it is that people get to
Take your pictures, take your pictures, plant your seeds
But you will never explain a color in words
I let happen what would and lost my catch that moment
Had to stay out of sight, I've cut my ties

5. Houses We Die In

...And I miss home, and I miss the closets, the windows, the hallways
And when we are gone, who will keep up the garden?
Like a mother calling her boy, I am, I am so unsafe
But she can't do it alone
but there's nothing stronger than her prayers.
Nothing stronger than the smell of reds.
My fathers reds

Under bridges waiting to look forward, waiting for rushes ends
Living in the moment is the homeless mantra, they know the busiest streets
All we have, all we have, all we have is letting sleeping dogs lay
All we have, all we have, all we have is letting sleeping dogs lay
Your face lit up and for once, I enjoyed where I was
The truth is jade plants die, the truth is muscles atrophy
Softening your skin and hardening mine

"I don't know where to begin
I've thought about this day so much and thought of so many things I've wanted to say
but now, now I can only look at you like the pictures I spend hours staring at
I don't think I've ever smiled so wide as when you were holding me up
I was given a picture the other day of a past birthday
We were together on our back deck

I remember.
You were covered in powdered sugar from the donuts you were eating
I've always loved watching you smile

Do you remember the mornings when we woke up early to ride bicycles to on the board walk
or the night before my first homecoming when you taught me how to dance?

Yes I remember. I hope she appreciated all my hard work

I wish I had a different story to tell
I seem I have drifted fairly far away from what you taught me

You were always the (?)

I'll admit there hasn't been much to smile about since, since you left

I didn't leave, I fought for five years to stay at your side

What do you remember about that night?

I remember a family that loved their wife and mother very much.

How can you say that?
We were liars
We clung to those songs like we so desperately wanted to Cling to you.

Then I don't think you heard the same song I did

You had to know I was lying
You had to know how much I hated myself for smiling like a fool
For spending our last few minutes together deceiving you

Matthew, your smile on the face of your (grey) spirit
was the greatest gift a mother has ever received from her child

I miss you

I know."

Everyone cares, every eye carelessly tiptoes around you, watching you,
They'll wear black ties, and as they applaud, I'll count claps

6. Interlude

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