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1. Ways To Indifference

Again I walk along this road
blurred headlights cross my way
there's no tomorrow
with every step another yesterday

Burnt all the bridges behind me
withdrawn from every human presence
darkened every door before me
driven by forgiving indifference

It doesn't matter where I've been
doesn't matter where I go to
I remember someone telling me
nothing is as bad as it seems

Again I walk along this road
blurred headlights cross my way
there's no tomorrow
with every step another yesterday

Do you really wonder
why I prefer to walk this road alone
than being alone with you?

2. Mute

[Lyrics: Matthias Jell]

Sitting here in the same old park,
where the children used to play
the willows lie awake so dark,
like a stranger hiding from the light of day

Been here long time ago,
yet the children's laughter has gone
I remember once I felt calm inside,
but at some distant point I lost the fight

Can't feel the warmth of the sun anymore
just the bitter tongue of silence on my skin
lost the paradise I was once living for,
swallowed all the pain within,

Sitting next the willow, where I ended it all,
listening to the sound of silence for a while
until I hear the shadows beckoning call
and in front of me a little girl giving me a smile

„Forgive me my soul, we got lost on our way
apathetic I found myself here,
I feel, there's nothing left to say
and nothing left to fear“

3. A Window In The Attic

[Lyrics: Matthias Jell]

From a window in the attic
I see grey birds passing by
lost on their way
onto forgiving nothingness

What would I find here, if I stayed?
A life without hope
What would you find of me, if I decayed?
A wasted life ended by the rope

From a window in the attic
I see life passing by
wipe the daylight off my eyes,
death alone knows my way

And when I'm gone,
another one will take my place
behind the window in the attic
you will see his weary face

And all, that will remain of me
is just a vague memory

4. Futile

Empty facades all around
eyes like open books
telling lies with every look
nauseatic images on burial ground

Let myself drown in this daily deluge
may death be my last refuge
let me fall and set me free
and grant my soul eudaimony

I’ve been searching for so long
but every way I chose felt wrong
expelled from the joys of men I tried to be free
getting used to this void inside of me

Regardless of what they say
I know I was never meant to stay
I will bleed until they’ll see
life is the most futile state to be

A dead spot in my mind
from the ones I had to leave behind
I tried so hard to forget
but every new day meant regret

On the crossroads to loneliness
open eyes breed nothingness
a lifeline completed, time to let loose
may death be my last excuse

I’ve been dying for too long
in your most lonesome hour hear my song
regardless of what they said
we are all just meant to fade

5. Portraits

[Lyrics: Matthias Jell]

Another lifeline fading,
Empty portraits remaining
Left here with spring alone
Under the weight of the stone

Further astray with each new day
So clear that you could never have stayed
I bid farewell to the sun
Ever aware that you're gone

No place left to stay,
Those colours of your soul have drawn my way,
No one there as I fall,
Those memories engulf my soul

I don't dare give in to sleep
For night by night you seem so real
But I don't dare to awake
For every new day tells me that I break

And on the day I pass away
All those portraits will turn grey
Deep inside my soul three words and your name,
And what remains is but an empty frame

6. Cold

Some nights I awake
still feeling the pain
nebulous memories remain
that don’t belong to me

Everything’s so cold
losing ground day by day
everything feels so cold
can you tell me, why I should stay?

Needless to say, life gets better one day
it’s only darkness fading into grey
‘till there’s no place left to stay
but a grave in the arms of slow decay

Everything’s so cold
losing time day by day
everything feels so cold
yet I am on my way

Built my own cell of isolation
with no way out
but a road of desolation

Everything’s so cold
losing life day by day
everything feels so cold
I got a weary smile and take farewell

7. Godforsaken

Pray for my deliverance
for I am a sinner
final words in the hour of repentance
for I am failure

Spent a lifetime stuck in silence
no one there as the road ends

8. December's Hearse

[Lyrics: Matthias Jell/ December 2008]

Waiting for another day to end,
another day to comprehend,
what I lost within one single night,
the peace of mind, a guiding light

If I could just follow you
to close the gap behind,
but failure is a haunting virtue
on this road through no man's land

Things will never be the same again
though I tried to turn back time
for my own life to regain,
a life marked by those traces of thine

All those aching memories
brought me to my knees
Playing this every-day role,
hiding the wreckage of my soul

Wherever you are,
no matter, if near or far,
your loss remains as a scar...

They will never understand,
even though they do pretend
They want me to exhale
with another desperate smile

Uncried tears can never dry,
and each day I silently die,
I keep on following your trace
right into the sun's dying haze

[Dedicated to Josef Jell (01.02.1952 – 20.12.1994)]

Jörg Heemann – Drums
Marcus E. Norman – Guitars, Bass, Keyboards, Programming
Matthias Jell – Vocals
Peter Honsalek – Viola, Piano

Thanks to eudaimony for sending these lyrics.
Thanks to mer-l-in for correcting track #5 lyrics.

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