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1. Teddie Odd

i've buried these days under Midwest soil
and i've felt the weight of a year spent cold

it's never been about trying to stay alive,
it's about the struggle to feel alive
as discontent makes its place in my mind
i am nothing more than swallowed pride

2. Ideation

all i wanted was to be your escape,
but my presence was never enough
to match the burden you created,
or all the times you'd been mistreated
abuse made its way down the family tree,
and you were the youngest of three

who am i to talk of hardship when i don't know the half of what you've felt?
who am i to console your suffering when my own worst enemy is me?

all i wanted was to be your escape,
but some wounds will never heal
there is no easy way out
when the walls around your mind reveal an empty shell

i refuse to just sit back and let your name fade away,
as if you were successful in taking your life that day
with every word withheld,
and every uncherished moment filled,
i have become the worst enemy of myself

abuse made its way down the family tree,
and you were the youngest of three

3. My Roots Will Remain

after digging every last bit of myself into this town
i know that the community i built will live on no matter the distance
it was always us against the world
we swore we'd never change,
we swore we'd always feel the same
but each year it gets harder to keep from going our separate ways
as we are carried away by the dreams we aspire
embracing change can be difficult
when my attachable heart can never let things go

the hardest part of leaving is knowing my roots will remain
dug deep into everything i once took for granted,
the place i used to call home
i never really knew what it was i was leaving behind,
until i found myself lost in another life

i believe there is something to be said about where i've been
i will continue to give everything i have
to those who stand by me with every season's end
true friends share scars until they die

4. Wither Away

there is a message that rings in my ear
from voices built by fear
condemning hell while refuting the existence of a God
preaching acceptance while spewing hypocrisy
where is the hope that once rang so prevalently?
kids these days are saying that they'd rather be dead
existing under a cloud of regret
darkness is a comfortable shelter
but it is no place to call home
we all are broken, eager to just wither away
but there is more to life,
there is more to life than death

twelve months ago i lost myself
buried somewhere beneath this Midwest soil
but it takes more than one to raise the dead
apathy has no place in the heart of a man

5. Know Your Season

i'd like to say that you were everything that i needed this winter
it's just i've grown so weary of the time lost, we dissolve
as i found comfort in nothing
sleepless December left me to wonder
how i had fallen down to the rhythm of losing you
yet i could still seek comfort in finding you

i don't think you realize the way your absent face plagued me this past year
it took me all this time to realize that i had everything that i needed right here
no longer will i drown myself in the cold,
attempting to feel less alone
by filling my nights with empty pursuits and empty apologies

if you had never left, i would have never known where to call my home
i would have never seen all that this place means to me
i know you know what it feels like to be broken,
because i put you through hell to cope with you leaving
i know you know what it feels like to be broken,
because sometimes love isn't enough.

6. Discontent

what good is this voice if my words are never enough?
have my actions done their part to bury all the guilt?
i chose to live the good life,
and i'll wear it across my chest
because a life struggling for passion is a misguided ship

i still am no godsend,
but i know i'm better than this
i may never be fixed,
but i know i'm better than this

are my words empty?
or can you feel my pulse?

7. Oh Leaving

just like whole hearted pursuits leading to severed ends,
some things when broken will never mend

there is a solemn feeling of acceptance,
it rolls in with the changing of seasons
and the passing of time erodes away my mind
until i can't see with my own two eyes
but it's not a vision we strive for
more so a level of contentness
in realizing that we aren't where we wanted to be
and never were in the first place

i was blinded by the thought that a lust built love
meant something more than the passing of time
reminiscence shows only occasional true colors,
we see what our hearts choose to feel was real

all the while your face has been forever haunting,
in every snowbank, as our leaves turn over
but this world was never meant for you and i,
so after a year spent cold, i left it all behind.

Thanks to stoneburnerkeaton for sending these lyrics.

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