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1. Insanity

walking through cold air
the wind blows dead leaves along my way
dead thoughts crawl my mind
it all left me this winter day

i roam through the wilderness
created by the hand of man,
feel it's cold expedient futility

great quantity seems to be the death of the souls
veiled under my covers
i'm dying beneath the vast diversity

the chains of human existence catch up to me
force me to hate them
captivated beyond their ignorance
insanity is my companion

i pass in review the recent time
she recognized my secret which reappeared
discovered my sores

but her sorrow prevented her
from remeding my dead soul
to fulfill her own meaningless task
she left and abandoned me under the moon

Now back in familiar paths
hunting for the vertex of my life
like a hungry beast
the drizzle floats through the darkness
like my thoughts are wandering around the emptyness
unable to grasp

2. Awakening

For a long time it hasn't been there, perhaps never...
Quietly it crept along all the time, always there, but not with me.
Now it's here, feeds on and destroys me.
It's everywhere, I cannot flee without leaving myself.

Time captures me,
will it increase my distance?
The tears will dry, or never be cried, when they fall it will leave with
them and nothing will be left of me. An awakening to see the downfall,
like an old leaf that receives cognition before it's blown away,
just to realize: now it's too late.

Is this a dream or a nightmare? Summerdays fade.
A part of me dies, buried by the other, secluded and without remorse.
It's still, the funeral in solemn peace, in the air's the question:
"What shall become?"

Here I lie now and watch. It's another life. Through the looking glass I
can see, clouds drag past like ethereal to show that the time goes by,
while my mind is clear in empty space.
You think you can be, but are not there. This world of repeating
obscurities, back from my deviations time diverges to capture me in
presence. The only way has no return betrayed by myself.

The fall came suddenly,
meaningless everything now.
Weightless, all burdenings are gone.
Absolute freedom, feel it before the eternal nothingness.
Perishing finally my life leaks out,
next to the flowers,
my torment beneath their beauty, the memories gather
waving like seeds in the summernights' wind,
reminders of gratification.
And soon the mourning will end.
Repentance fills emptiness with grief.
There won't be a return,
the sorrow has found its end.

3. The Mist

In the mist there is a light, illuminates the water in the darkness.
Invisible all disaster, invisible me. I know I'm walking but not where.
Not towards the light. Not to the stars that distort the ways. The water
embraces me, urges me forward to find something different.

And through the mist I wander,
dont know my direction,
diverging paths so many,
endlessly I have to seek
until the paths vanish
and infinity becomes nothing.

Shouts in the neverness, their sources meaningless,
are lending shape to the surroundings,
they tell me everything and nothing,
only what I take will matter.

What matters makes my fate
the path of my presence,
depending on accident which is inexistant.
Every drop of water means to distort me,
far beyond there's something called "me".

Guide me out of the fog!
My never unveiled destination,
can it be ours?
Can you find me while I'm lost myself?
Can the mist leave to show the sunlight?
Can there be a path after this discovery?
So I walk on in gloomy darkness,
hopeful that your presence is more than illusion.
Hopeful to arrive, somewhere.

4. Meaning Of Loss

the rain weeps past the windows, a strange feeling keeps a hold on me.
where am I? what has been before? questions, hardly answerable. cannot
feel time, cannot feel myself.

loneliness with me that breaks one's mind by time, remembrance, a pale
shadow of past illusions. lost the time, lost the feelings, lost the
thoughts, lost my mind, why not my life?!


it's the loss i feel of every day that's gone!
it interlards me, gives me a shape
that fits this unreal dismal world
i want to leave and escape the pain

they entered and left this drowning life so displaced, cut roots bleeding.
like acid sadness burns in me
again i cant find any sense in my life
lost my hope
before the dawn the time went
another time i want to die

the strange feeling still burdening me
remembrance, the rotten shadow of my illusions.
lost the time, lost the feelings, lost the thoughts, lost my mind...

i am dying slowly
my mind breaks away

reality nothing more than the distorted reflections in my cup, there's
only sadness,
when you're watching yourself die and your world falls apart before your

5. Amok

Through the world I guide my eyes in despair, hate and wrath.
One last time I will arise from you scum.
You forced me to go this way, no choice is left,
cannot lose anything anymore, living only for the moment and affection.
This night everyone's my target and my heart tells me to kill.

(Running amok, letting go my sanity.)
Now that the end is near
you're possessed by your fear,
the moon is shining bright
hell is near - how do you feel?
Are you alright?
That the end is near
you're possessed by your fear,
close to the eternal night
for your death there will be no fight

Your whole lifetime you've failed, denying to see it.
Nothing you are, nothing you will be.
When I leave this place there will be no lifeforms left,
When I wake up I will be all alone
and peace will reign the realm, pleasant,
this is the way the world should be...


Nothingness, the best I can achieve, so I try,
negative result of the past made what I am.
The weapons spoke, final words cried out to the sky,
reminiscences for me on the way to
a new beginning, beautiful solitude,
to die in my last triumph.

My time is gone, departure into beautiful morningrise, ascending to my destiny...

6. Release

You're standing alone
on the hill that the master built,
only watching the stars,
damned, your soul is killed.
To the stars you will go,
beyond your death
and a better world you'll know
after your last breath.

In the dark belief
you found your way
to take your vengeance to them all.
Pray for redemption, for darkness.
In your rage they will fall

You're gonna sacrifice yourself as a lonely freak.
You'll leave this unfortuned existence
where your human body's so weak.

You will be released
when your body can't feel anymore,
freed from your pain,
death like an open door,
lonely in this cruel world,
expelled by humans.
As an angel of wrath you'll return,
creature of the night

Emptiness what you feel,
unbearable desperation.
Could there be another way
than deadly temptation?
While you've tried them all
your inner darkness has risen,
and in the end you will have to fall,
you're not supposed to live.

7. Return

A pleasant warm dusk,
when I returned from a time of fulfillment,
not like the others, just empty, like awoken from a dream.
Ripped away in agony, from a place far away.

'Lone again I am,
doomed in the lands of grief,
retreating into all the memories
gained on the journey to my destination
which I surely can't attain.

Hide the pain!
suffocate it with your emptiness.
Destroy my life
make me go somewhere else!
This is just the wrong way!

Exhausted still and tired,
fitting into my unwanted space.
Can my path end here?

The forest of the morning parts before my eyes,
offering view to the fields in the dew,
fog still floating through the valleys.
Never will be able to walk the fields again,

Choice was made long time ago, maybe never existed.
Return to the deeper wood accepting the death,
after life in darkness
protected beneath the trees.

No one else than the spirit with me,
no one to recover, no one to hurt
my lost soul.

8. Shadows

how many words have I whispered?
how many songs have I played?
how many thoughts have run through my mind?
as all is gone now what is left to do?

what will be left without you?
theres no meaning at all, beholding the pictures, only reminder of what
has been. the world of nothing, emptiness...

remembrance! the echoes of the past in my head...
escape! it's killing me, there is no [cant find a] way out of here
lost the light in my life, (now) everything's worthless...

you've gone before time, peaceful, lonely in your grave. most of me died
with you, truth weeping, reality frozen. silent scene on the graveyard,
hatred felt for this world, rage towards all that is.

how can I get over this loss?
these feelings now broken, won't be replaced!
have to make my way down to your side.
my death the only chance to be with you

you were my refuge in this forsaken world
this pain wont set me free, forever scarred will I be
now youre beneath the fire that burns above me, crying.

the graveyard is a beautiful realm, well-kept nature where human nature ends.
past mourning can be felt in the air, in the darkness isolated lights.
they show that there's still someone remembering, this place has a life
of its own in death...

memories turn to pain, all the places cause agony,
my ripped-out heart is gone with you
the times have changed, the future's broken

the end caught you too soon, but now it's time to forget
torn, torn from life, your shadows the only remains
the end caught you too soon, your shadows the only remains

Thanks to frankpirnay for sending these lyrics.

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