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1. Masquerade

Smiley happy faces,
A hurt filled heart denied,
Who cares about the person,
If they look good from outside
Ignore my emotions
Let them eat away inside
Nothing left to live for
But at least I kept my pride.

Can you ignore love?
Can you endure hate?
Can you live a lie?
Deny the loneliness and pain?
Can you hate yourself?
Attain a darker shade?
Blindly paint your mask
And come and join the masquerade

A childhood fear, a trauma
Oppressed emotions grow
Tangled deep within
A time bomb waiting to explode
The oppressed becomes oppressor
Aggression now unleashed
Thus starts the vicious circle
But the anguish could be peace

There tsands your father
Crying at the pain
The perfect answer
Not an object for the blame

The hate, the fear, the pain, the tears, the lies
See through your mind, your pain filled eyes
Washed in the blood, your anguish dies

Your mind set free
Go out and live again

2. So Far Away

Why, when I'm feeling down do you seem so far away?
Surrounded by love but alone inside my head
Why, when things go wrong do I run away and hide?
Life goes on, but I've been left behind

Oh, reach out and touch me
Show me that you're there, show me hat you care
I knew it wouldn't be easy,
But I'd never be alone, you would always guide me home
Then why do I feel so alone?

Why do I do the things I hate to do? The things I know I want to do
I cannot do even for you, I know you want me to
It's not me but that within me, that has taken control of me
When will be the day you take this wretched man and set him free?

I know you see
'Tis I that turn away from thee
You're here for me
But there's a door I hold the key

Selfish despair, the thing that binds me, hurting all of those around me,
Hurting you, the one who saved me, stops your light from shining from me,
Give me back the fire that burned in me, and help me be how I want to be,
And help me hate the enemy, he got too close to me

Don't follow me, follow the one I follow
Don't look to me, look to the one I look to
Don't turn away, because of the believers
The true one is the Christ, and not the Christians.

3. D.I.G.M.

Bleach my mind all hope inside
A path I walked misguided
Gave my life all understanding
To find a way one sided.

A whirlwind of anger to be unleashed
A mind carved twisted by all
To make my own decisions is unheard of
I am nothing at all.

My distorted view once force fed
My will was broken my life led
Caring not for what mattered to me
Confused and lost bound and free
Unbalanced I toss to and fro
Where will it end and what will I find

I am but a prisoner, on whom can I call?
From where I find the key sullen I fall
But to find it all to settle my daze
I must first find a way through the maze.

Clearly I see what was so unseen
I won't return to where I have been
The way is paved, marked with gold
I have someone to trust, someone to hold
My fears and confusion, my troubled soul
Embraced by Jesus, my life made whole.

Man is not master of his own destiny
But only of destruction
From each word, each thought, each deed
He must reap what has been sown

There is but one true God.

4. Let Peace Begin With Me

I see those gross atrocities
I mourn those needless deaths I see
Outrage grips my soul, their pain plays on my mind
But then I can get back to life and leave it all behind
Numbered emotions, a tear-drop dries away
A memory the residue that's safely kept at bay

Lord, open my mind, open my soul, see the reality
Come, take my emotions, turn into actions, remove the apathy
Death, seen as solution, blind aggression, insensitivity
Let peace begin with me!

I blame "them", they probably blame me
Deluded by security
Our actions may be raindrops, together they're a flood
Maybe though our ignorance our own hands stained with blood
Self-preoccupation, selfishness the knife
Man has mastered killing but he never will give life.

5. Feel

Words, they told me the words to say
They taught me the way to play
Not 'til now I know
Feel, the way I want to be free
But how can it be so real
When I'm feeling so low

So reach out and touch me, show me that you're there
Teach me how to feel you whisper that you care
I know that you're my shelter, my strength, my need, my all
So why's it when I'm feeling down, I can't feel you at all?

Touch me in a way that I'll know that it is you
Hold me and embrace me, make me something new
Fill me with your laughter, your life, your gifts, your all
Pull me up I'm in selfbound, so numb but soon not any more

You gave me life, gave me hope, gave me resurrection
You give your peace give your all

6. Blindly Rejected

The love in those eyes I see
The trusting nature they call naivete
A peace with all to me so unattainable

So far advanced to the world that surrounds them
So much to teach the fools who mock them

Looked upon as subhumanity
Just for pity and charity
"Ease my conscience but please keep them out of view"
No right to live even before life
"Too big a burden prepare the knife"
Maybe the world's the one that's mentally disabled

Grouped together in modern day asylums
No dignity as we force our views upon them

The love in those eyes I see
Not reflected by humanity
A childish fear of those who are different

The vilest prejudice society's accepted
All they have to give blindly rejected

7. If But For One

Incessant bleeding, brutal afflictions
Crimson crown, poisoned oppressions
Disfigured body, contemplates death
Love the reason, every breath

The candle burns, the end nears
As thirst for life disappears

Sardonic anthem, harmony of scorn
The crucifixion, cord of death torn
Salvation unseen by naive minds
Separation, the darkness binds

For mankind his last breath
If but for one, suffering death

8. Sailors Farewell

All aboard that's coming
Farewell to them that ain't
It's time for me to see the world
It's getting late
So I'll say farewell to Bristol and goodbye to Nailsea
And we'll let this Brummy come aboard 'coz he's good company
So why don't thee take a risk and come along with me?
It may be rough but at the end we all will merry be.

"Skipper, where we going?"
"A better place" sez He
You're just goin' nowhere fast
And so was we
The time'll come yer cider jar's as empty as yer head
And we'll be out at open sea with better things ahead
You don't believe in paradise after all we've said
Maybe I'll lose me breakfast, if I stay I'll lose me head

All hands around the capstan
Time to earn yer keep
The skipper says the wind is right
So walk and heave
We'll sing a song of where we're goin' and of where we've been
And we'll sing of them we left behind and them we're gonna meet
I'm sorry but I won't be back to tell thee what I've seen
But I know that all you'll see's the grass grow 'neath your feet

Farewell to merry England
The place that I've called home
Goodbye to those who've missed the boat
You're on your own
I'll think of them that tried to swim and them that tried to row
And tell them that's waiting on the dock for another ship to go
There's them that' happy left behind in ye Llendoger Trow
They won't be when they realise, they've missed the last ship home.

9. Father To Son

This deeply furrowed brow
Has seen the end of many years
Lines of laughter and of sorrow
This face was washed by many tears
I have lived a full life
Made my fair share of mistakes
I'm ready now to leave for home
But listen as my spirit waits

Listen to me child
I won't always be there
I've said all I can say
You must search alone
I know I've let you down
But He will never leave you
Just reach out your hand
He will lead you home

As my senescent body groans
To be relieved of mortal pain
Please don't cry for me
My time has come to live again
I'll pray that you will feel the Spirit
And remember words I've said
For I know that I'll live on
Even when my body's dead.

Listen to me child...

Why can't you see
What it means to me?

Listen to me child...

10. Painted Reality

Cool to be high in the sky flying
Smashed on the pavement, you're bleeding and dying
The press have their story the dealers their money
Parents and friends are crying, it's too late for words
It's too late for words...

Evil desires twisted path bloody glory
Breaking his heart tear reddened eyes He does see us through
The father sighs his love is denied his love defied
For Him it is won share in the victory
A trip so wild and near
A trip of love for us all to share

For I have been there among the flower walls
Among the voices of liars and the Devil's calls
Creeping down the tunnel of doom where Hell awaited
Led into a darkness a prison I have created
Craving for my life to be a tortured eternity
Defying my calls on my last grains of sanity

Yes I have been there but I am still here
A vision of beauty pierced through my torture
Not even a call but a question was answered
A living dream a painted reality
My father has saved me from unbearable loss
The trip I'm now on secured by the cross.

11. As It Reigns

I feel you gently as the wind blows
See you as the grass grows
Know you as it rains
I'm near you, sitting in the moonlight
You touch em when the sun's bright
No two hills the same
I hear you softly as the bird sings
You're fresh me with the pure spring
You feed me with the land
I see your beauty in the flowers
Your strength as it thunders
Your vastness in the sand.

I see you in autumn as the leaves fall
I wonder as a child crawls
In springtime the lambs
I marvel in winter as the lakes freeze
In summer with the cool breeze
All move with your hand
I see your might as the wave breaks
Fear you as the earth quakes
Love you in the fields
I bathe in your presence in the mountains
Your beauty as it transcends
Everything I feel

Guardians fail
Our world is neglected, destroyed
Love is denied
Creation's emotions are toyed
Creed prevails
The money that blinds thoughtful eyes
Progress they say
A gradual worldwide suicide

12. Subtle Shades

Silently, I wait the tears to fall
Forlorn entity, none to all
Vale of anguish, fragrant solitude
Bathed in sadness, sorrows interlude.

There is no black, no white, no grey
There is no light, no dark, no dusk
Only subtle shades of pastels.

A distant choir, a subtle melody
Fading perfume, haunting memory
Like stars fell in the snow
Eternal fires no longer glow.

There is no black...

Only subtle shades of pastels.

Silently, I wait the tears to fall.

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