Dark Lyrics


1. 8-Bit Piece Of Shit

Obey the Lord of this Magic Mushroom Kingdom
Hey, Mario, you're gonna fucking die
Come with me back in time, come with me back to 1989

Mario's mustache tickles Luigi's asshole
Two Italians in an Asian world, eating spaghetti with cat meatballs
Jump up and squash a Goomba, fuck that, give me firepower

Blowing in the cartridge, this fucking piece of shit still won't fucking work
Bought it from a tag sale, you fucking dicks, I want my dollar back
Blowing in the system, what kind of bullshit is this anyway?
The controller is all sticky now, I should have never put those fucking stickers on it

The Mario and Duck Hunt game
Nothing beats it still to this day
I just want to shoot that goddamn dog
Motherfucker, don't you laugh at me
The ducks must be smoking crack
I'm three inches from the screen
Still missing

Bow your head down when before the Lord
Has that mushroom gone straight to your head?
(Mario) HAIL King Bowser
Thay're gonna find you in a pipe, smushed up dead

I'm dodging fireballs in this lava pool
Where is that fucking bitch, Princess Toadstool?
Thank you, Mario, but our princess is in another castle
Find Princess Toadstool, bring her to me
More than a kiss, get down on your knees

I must be re-ta-tarded to write a song about this shit

Bullet Bill and the turtles with wings
The Cheap-Cheaps and fucking squid things
Hammer Bros. got the target on your balls
And they castrate Mario for breaking Koopa's laws
No more continues, no option to save
Game over

2. Plastic Messiah

Sheep clones
Silicone titties
Phone sex
Test tube babies
Birth control
Eat it up
Never full
Overdose on cold medicine
When you are feeling sick

Opposites attract bullshit, it’s all the same
Everyone judges me before they know my name
Supermodel snobs and the anorexic bitches
Only spread their legs for the ones with the riches

I don’t give a shit what you fucking think of me
None of you mean a goddamn thing to me
This is the product of an absent god
Too many people just stringing along
Time to separate myself from the idiots
And you can send me straight to hell

Go fuck yourself, worthless asshole

Corporate fucks, you’re living a lie
Other people’s money trapped in your eyes
Take a step off the edge
That fucking tie around your neck
Is like a leash that keeps you weak
As you’re dragged upon your knees

Everyone wants to be perfect
Everyone’s a fucking whore for money
Force the bullshit you believe
Stuff your plastic messiah under a murdered tree

I don’t need a reason to be pissed off anymore
I built myself up just to fall on the floor
I fucked up everything
But I don’t fucking care anymore

Fuck it all
Fuck you all
This plastic society
This backwards morality
Everyone’s an enemy
Everyone’s my enemy

3. Heaven Can't Help Us

Confirmation is confirming
You're a mindless piece of shit
Confession is tattletaling
On the blessings that you give
Baptism is the drowning
Of all the truth your planted with
Communion is the digestion
Of the holy hypocrite

I must be dreaming
Tell me about God
I was still dreaming
Teach me of this God
Dreams murdered my soul

Left to bleed on the side of the road
My cross is broke, but my throne is gold
One last splash of the fucking holy water
Prepare for everlasting slaughter

What can our dreams possibly mean?
When I awake, I get the feeling we're all alone
Faith creates atrocities
When spoonfed into your soul

Heaven sounds so pretty (God can't help us)
To all the stupid little kids
Every story in the Bible
Are fairy tales reality conflicts

Take control
Kill your soul
Believe in what you see
Starvation, rape, children suffering

4. Sea Monkey Kill!

Sea Monkey!
Sea Monkey kill!

One family, 2,057 Sea Monkeys
This Christmas, experience the magic
Of the Satanic shrimp
Most of us will die
For those who shall survive
We are on a mission
To kill their suspicion

Come a little closer
Closer to the light
We’ll show you our little tricks
We love you
No, we fucking hate you

Sea Monkeys attack!!!

Jesus Christ
Oh how sweet, Jack loves his puppy
Allow us to entertain you
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack is now Sea Monkey shit
We fuck you up, we fuck your mom
We sing to her love monkey songs
Nibble, nibble, nibble on the little puppy’s flesh
Nibble, nibble, nibble on the Kibbles 'N’ Bits
Yummy bacon flavor

We turn the stadium into a giant monkey bog
It’s an all-out Sea Monkey assault

Better hide your children
'Cause we’re gonna kill them
Watch them pick their fucking nose
Stick their fingers into our tank
What the fuck, you little shit
I swear to God, just say the fucking words
And I will kill
You little son of a bitch
Monkey troops move!!!
The little demon shrimp from an ocean on Mars
Coming soon to a theater near you

Sea Monkey kill!
Coming this Christmas

5. Bendable Jesus

Jesus saves
Silence, maggots!

Once upon a time
There was a God who was fucked in the head
He came to me in my sleep and then said,
"Wake up, asshole, get on your knees
I want some head from a creation of me"
And I said, "I don't think so, God
I don't think that I could swing that way"
He slapped me in my face
And said, "Motherfucker, now you must pay"

I never read this in the Bible

Bendable Jesus, bendable Christ
Comes packaged with a cross and a shitload of knives
I am God and I'll give you pain
If you question my power or defile my name

He has more power than a G.I. Joe
Although resembles a Barbie doll, dressed like a ho

I am God and I have control
I'll kill you right now and devour your soul
I'm just a maggot, just a piece of clay
Nothing I say can change your way but
Everytime you lie, baby Jesus cries
Everytime you lie, baby Jesus dies
Everybody lie
Help me stop the production
Fully posable
Anal animal
Jesus Christ

Don't want to see your light
You haven't made anything all right
But if I should die tonight
Don't want to look at you
Don't even know what to say

You're not leaving heaven dressed like that
You're making Mother Mary very sad
Bendable Jesus, are you OK?
You're very violent for someone who's gay

6. Force-Feed

I believe that a horrible death
Will compensate for my wasted breaths
I have sinned beyond forgiveness
My pathetic excuse for this damaged mind
I am an infected slut
Half-human, half-American mutt

My mind is fried from a massive intake
Of psychoactive drugs
Looking back, I admit it was fun
But I can't believe how fucking stupid I was
Everything I dreamed could now be a miracle
Everything I think cannot be conveyed
I have forsaken everything that is sacred to me
My crispy little soul

I'm incapable of feeling love
And happiness and all that good shit
I'm obsessed with death, pain, and porn
The ugliness that makes me horseshit
Nothing personal, I just don't know myself
Or what the fuck I've become
Nothing personal, I'm just fucked up
I'm on a soul-searching powertrip now

Oh, chaos conquered my brain
Force-feed me with silence
Shove hope down my throat
Oh, what's left after going insane

Wash this watercolor portrait of me

Nothing personal, I fucking hate you
Don't think you're special
'Cause I fucking hate everyone
Nothing personal, I fucking hate you
Don't fuckin' sit there
Put a bullet through my goddamn head

7. Death Saves The Derelict

If I could disappear, would you love me?
Or do I have to pump heroin through my veins?
Or possibly sleep in the mighty jungle?
Where sex is written into the clouds

Dont blame the internet porn
Blame it on Walt Disney

I'm just the enhanced version of you
With bigger balls
Don't really care about anything
Keep flushing my toilet mouth down the drain
Death saves the derelict
Keep order by labeling me insane

Puberty is the process of perversion
The deep, dark secrets
From our childhood revealed

I spent every morning with Cap'n Crunch
I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
I was a Flintstone kid
A fucking Flintstone kid
Now I'm a piece of shit
Smoking cigarettes and losing my fucking hair

Don't blame the internet porn
Blame it on Walt Disney
Take the blame under the sea
To that throbbing boner

Humongous balls
Don't give a fuck about anything

Put me in a children's movie
Make it all OK

8. A Selfish Prayer

Take me
End this dream now

I still remember the day I met you there in the dark, all alone
This obvious outcast creature, the greatest friend I've ever known
I still remember the first time I held you, our bodies trembled a little bit
And now you're buried with all the memories below the place where we would sit

Yesterday I'd be happy if the church burned down
If every trace of God was never found
Until confronted with this
Under the sun where your body would lay
I've never seen it shine that way
Into the greatest mystery you go

I can't forget that withered white face, the tired eyes, and the weakening bones
I knew that this was all ending too very soon
And I don't know if I'd be here if it wasn't for you
'Cause even when everyone gave up on me, you stuck it through

I never meant to forget you
I never thought this could be the last time

Even though you could not speak, you've said so very much to me
Give me one good reason why she doesn't deserve one last goodbye
If I could only turn back time
I would make this moment mine
Just want to hold you one more time, just want to kiss you forever goodnight
Tell me, God, will I ever get the chance? Tell me, God, will we ever meet again?

Stuck in my dreams and frozen thoughts
You're still alive in my broken heart
Stuck in my dreams and frozen thoughts
You bring heaven to this empty heart
And I'm sorry I wasn't there
Like you were always there for me
I wish to God that I could be there
I close my eyes and hope to be
I never thought to appreciate
My happiness from the love you gave
It seems life ended both ways
The day that you were taken away

You bring us love, then you take it away
You bring us love, then you tear it away
Pray for my death
Take me to death
Show me your death
Bring me death
Bring me death, God

9. An Open Door...

Satan is good, Satan's my Pal
I will kill everyone.

Goddamn Brownies

10. Rubber Ducky Fucker

Rubber ducky, bathtub monkey
You make me feel alive
Rubber ducky, bathtub monkey
I fill your plastic insides
Rubber ducky, bathtub monkey
Come be my whore tonight

I hope you slip in the bathtub
And break your fucking neck

Slice off your fucking tits
I'll take a fucking shit
I'll fill them up with it
And sew them back on

I hope you slit your throat while shaving
Blood fills the sink

Slice off your fucking tits
I'll take a fucking shit
I'll fill them up with it
And sew them back on [3x]

Kill you, fuck you, hate you, blah blah blah [3x]
Kill you, fuck you, hate you, eat my cock!

Duck fuck... duck fuck....
Duck fuck! (duck fuck!) [4x]

Fuck a rubber ducky and I spread that hole wide with my penis
Rip the hole wide open and I penetrate deep inside


I'll kick you in the balls with the mashed potato
I'll fuck you up the ass with the ripe tomato
I'm the rubber ducky fucker
I'm the rubber ducky fucker

I'm the rubber ducky fucker
Fuck the duck's squeakhole!

I hope you slip in the bathtub
And break your fucking neck

Slice off your fucking tits
I'll take a fucking shit
I'll fill them up with it
And sew them back on

I hope you slit your throat
While shaving blood fills the sink

Slice off your fucking tits
I'll take a fucking shit
I'll fill them up with it
And sew them back on

An open door, a laughing child
Let me splash some warm water in your face
Such brittle bones, so easy to break
And what is that you're playing with?

Don't you know not to touch my shit!
I'll hurt the babies
To fuck the duckies
Let's make that water
A little hotter

Dead baby
Dead baby [2x]

No teeth, no hair
Don't give a shit, I'll spread her organs everywhere!
Semen, rape world
I fuck the duck and save the teeny tiny girl

Duck fuck! (duck fuck!) [4x]

I'll kick you in the balls with the mashed potato
I'll fuck you up the ass with the ripe tomato
I'm the rubber ducky fucker
I'm the rubber ducky fucker


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