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1. We Are All Destined For Grief

[Music: Nightmarer]

2. Orpheus Mourning

[Music & lyrics: Nightmarer]

Steeped in misery during my return to the surface.
Passing many torments, haunted by spirits.
Staring forward, walking ahead is the condition
to bring Eurydice back to life.

I lost her once and I couldn’t bear to lose her again.
I did everything for her.
I prayed to gods and I traveled through the Katabasis,
I appeased the Cerberus,
I entered into Tartarus and I crossed the Styx.

With my [Music I have softened the hearts of the demons, ]
I’ve shaken up Hades and Persephone.
Sisyphus halted his march towards the mountain;
the vultures, which were devouring
the entrails of Prometheus,
stopped to listen;
Tantalus began to weep forgetting his hunger and thirst;
but I made the Bacchaes mourn for the first time.
Hades allowed me to leave the underworld with my beloved.

The return was worse than the departure.
Loneliness engulfed me,
although the spirit of Eurydice
was supposed to be following me.

The spirits made me wonder about it.
The cold was unbearable,
hardships were enormous,
Eurycide was calling for me far away behind me.
The echoes of her voice, among the cavern,
were driving me crazy.

After an eternity finally I saw the light of the sun
and I turned back to admire her alive again.

But her foot was still resting on the shade.
I had broken the rules. Oh mother!

I was not supposed to stare backwards
before she reaches the surface.
I ran to embrace her in my arms, but there was only air.
She had vanished forever.

Oh father Apollo!
Your son begs for help!
Oh mother Calliope!
Your son begs for your help!

Now I know that I have lost her forever,
and the Bacchaes will come for revenge on me
due as I caused their weep, they won’t ever forgive me,
and they will tear me into pieces.

As I am waiting for my death,
with my lyre I will tear off
the nastiest notes all over creation.
All the green around will be withered.
It's just a question of time.
They will find me. But I don’t care. I'm already finished.

3. Blow Of Loss

[Music: Nightmarer]

4. Together As One

[Music & lyrics: Nightmarer]

10 PM.. 11PM… 12 PM… 1 AM… 2 AM… 3 AM…
4 AM in the morning.
They aren’t back yet.
I’m wondering where my wife and my son are.
They were supposed to be here long ago.
I’m tired and worried.
She doesn’t answer the phone.
Where are they?
Someone knocks at the doorstep.
I wish it wouldn’t be the truth.

My worst fears are confirmed.
I can’t believe it.
I can’t bear the idea.
I cannot face this.
They kidnapped and killed my family.
They raped and strangled my poor wife.
They tortured and beheaded my son.
Both of them have been dismembered
and then burned. They took everything away from me.
Who could do such a thing?

Their remains are unrecognizable.
The distinction of both bodies is impossible,
therefore they were buried together.
I do not think so. It must be false,
but the bodies were wearing their clothes.
One finger had our ring.
This couldn’t be happening to me.
Why did this happen to me?

I cannot stand the pain within my chest.
I think my head will explode. Nausea, retching
and vomit are increasingly violent.
I am consuming myself faster and faster.
For months, I couldn’t sleep.
My body refuses food.
Suicide attempts already counts four.
I've been fired from my job.
I am ruined and finished.
My friends consider me a lost cause.

Analgesics cannot prevent my headaches.
Nor tranquilizers or antidepressants can prevent my suffering.
Neither alcohol nor drugs let me forget.
I am not able to feel relief.

All these terrible images come back to my head again and again.
Make me feel their agony.
Why did you take their lives away?

I squirm in the mud and water.
I am only lit by storm lightning bolts.
Pouring down on me.
I'm cold and dripping wet digging with my own bare hands.
I feel the tingle of my skinned wounded arms.
Blood flows from several places.
I lost my finger nails, but I don’t care.
I need to know.
They cannot be them!
I must check by myself.
I must see their bodies.
I need to identify them.
I have to know!
If it really is them, then everything is over for me.
I will join them at this very moment.
So no one will be able to separate us again.

5. When Distance Becomes Real

[Music: Nightmarer]

6. Your Wake

[Music & lyrics: Nightmarer]

You came and you've gone.
You've been here and even you have not left a wake.
I hear your voice in my head like an echo of what never was.
I have a feeling of irreplaceable loss.
I feel the void from within.
I hear the songs that I first heard before being with you.
They are irrefutable proof that I'm alone.
I never heard these songs when we were together.
Nowadays these songs remain, but what we had doesn’t.
I watch the imaginary pictures hanging on a fridge that does not exist,
of children we never had and never will. I miss them.
You have separated them from me.
You took them away from me. I can’t recognize them, I can’t remember them.
Their faces were defined as years together went by,
but now they are blurred, and they are fading away.
I wonder how my life would had been with you,
I can see myself crying for you at your deathbed in old age,
I imagine you crying my farewell in the same way,
taking stock of the past and missing him.
Not regretting even for a moment to have spent all our lives together.
A long time ago we released our hands,
and when I tried again to hold yours you had gone away.
I keep reliving the moment when I saw how you were leaving
and closing the door behind you.
I could have run to you and have solved everything, but I did not.
Deeply I knew that this would happen, but I did nothing about it.
I picture myself in deathbed in a few years wondering why.
Who's to blame? What was the cause?
Unimportant. Nothing is so important.
Now you're just a memory in my head. You are intangible, immaterial and unreal.
It seems you have never happened.
It seems you have never existed.

Now you're just a memory in my head.
You are intangible, immaterial and unreal.

I wish to fade away myself with your memories and die.
Because I am part of all these faded memories, and this passed away wake.
Without you, my existence makes no sense.
You faded away… you passed away…you never happened.
You faded away… you passed away…you have not ever been there
You have faded away… you disappeared…you never happened
You faded away… you just passed away
You’ve been here and even you have not left a wake.

7. No Pain At Sleep

[Music: Nightmarer]

8. Nemesis

[Music & lyrics: Nightmarer]

You shouldn’t have abandoned me. You shouldn’t have done.
You should not have awakened the animal.
You should not ... But you did ... You provoked it. It was your fault.
You cannot flee ... you cannot run ... nobody will help you...
nobody is going to save you.
Now I have lost control in myself.
My anger controls my actions.
My mind just thinks of amending what is tainted.
I need revenge.
You can’t hide ... you can do nothing.
You'll never escape me. Wherever you go I'll be close.
Wherever you move I'll be watching you. Whatever you say I'll be listening.
If you notice a pair of glued eyes in your back it will be my sight.
If you feel a warm breeze on your neck it will be my breath on you.
I'll hit you again and again until the brightness of your eyes will be no longer clear due to the trembling of your tears. I'm looking forward to hearing your prayers, feeding me with your tears and washing my hands with your blood.
You were born to be mine, and die by my hands. I'm your Nemesis.
I will show you're mine, so I will do whatever I whether you like it or not.
I will suffocate you because I want to read an apology in your eyes watery dumb,
and in your rattle of death I will possess you again
to let you know that you belong to me.
Then I will finish myself because my life is meaningless without you.
We are bound to each other, now and forever ... whether you like it or not.
You're mine… forever

9. Acceptance

[Music: Nightmarer]

10. Farewell From Distant Shores

[Music & lyrics: Nightmarer]

I regret I have left without farewell
I couldn’t take any more time here.
I was summoned, and that’s a call that nobody rejects.
Please, forgive me for not having told you that I was leaving.
I know that surely you would want to come with me.
But this is an outward journey that you have to pass through alone,
and it is just one-way ride.
Don’t be sad for me, because no doubt I’m in a better place.
Here there’s no sorrow.
It is filled with light and love. Our love.
This essence surrounds this place.
I do know you will love it.

Remember me this way, just like the image I left you now,
the same you fell in love with.
Don’t remember me as when I was alive:
sour, sad, depressed,
towards the dead end,
alcoholic and self-destructive.
I know you cried for me, I know you suffered for me,
I know you made everything in your power,
you helped me to stand up when you knew it was useless.
I couldn’t tell you what happened to me, neither why I was breaking down,
I couldn’t even find an explanation.

Please, forgive me for taking my own life.
I’m sorry for all the pain I have done to you.
Don’t blame yourself. It was not your fault.
Not your fault. My life was already finished.
Everything was already finished.
Forget the grief. Pass over it. Live your life.
Don’t feel shame for me, because now I’m in a better place.
I won’t suffer anymore.

I will wait for you here, come here in no hurry.
Sooner or later I will see you again.
Maybe 20, 30 or 40 years from now, but it doesn’t matter.
Whatever happens, I will be at the end of the path.
And we will be together again, this time it will be forever.

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